Beyond death
by antonia221B
Summary: This story beginns two month befor...you know what I mean... Johnlock and Mystrade This is my first fanfiction...please don't judge me... And it would be nice if you would tell me, when there are grammar or spelling mistakes because English isn't my mothertongue. And I would be happy about lots of reviews! ENJOY! :D
1. Chapter 1

"Why him?" the elder Holmes brother is watching the Consulting Dedective. "Why not?" Sherlock sits in his chair and looking at the violin in his hand "You was never interested in...men...well you was never interested in anyone" Mycroft smiles at his younger brother. "He...He's special...he is...you know...it's John..." A quick smile runs over Sherlocks lips as he thinks about his flatmate. "And I wondered about you as well, Mycroft. I didn't expect you to share your bed with a normal dedective inspector from Scottland Yard." Mycroft's face freezes for some seconds...of course Sherlock noticed it... Mycroft sighs. He plays with the black umbrella in his hands. "Dedective Inspector Lestrade isn't just a 'normal' inspector...and you don't have to think about my bed...or the persons in it..." "You didn't pull him in your bed yet, Mycroft?" Sherlock puts his fingertips beneath his chin, like every time he is thinking. "Oohhh! You didn't tell him! Why not? Do you think he could refuse? Are you afraid of his reaction?" Sherlock has to laugh. His brother...his cold brother...the ice man is afraid of something... Not just of something...of telling someone his feelings! His Mycroft sighs again. He hates to be blamed by his little brother. "And what about you, Sherlock? Did you tell John anything?" Sherlocks lips becomes a thin line. His eyes gets smaller. He stares at his brothers face. Mycrofts complacent grin. His ice blue eyes. Sherlock can read his feelings in it. Mycroft always trys to hidde his feelings and thoughts...but he'll never realised that you can see in somebodys heart, if you can read their eyes. He never thought about that...never understood how his brother can deduce him. Sherlock can see the pain of being blamed by his younger brother, the joy of blame him as well, the small but constant love to his brother...he'll always love Sherlock and care about him. And Sherlock loves Mycroft as well...somehow... But this time he noticed something new in the eyes of 'the british gouvernment'. Something new, something the dedective never expects to see in his brothers eyes. Love. True and deep love. Mycroft didn't lie to him...Lestrade isn't just a normal dedective inspector from Scottland Yard. Sherlocks lips are still a straight line. Mycrofts are still a grin. "So you didn't?" Mycroft asks innocent. Sherlock still don't answers the question. "You didn't." Mycroft says with a quick view on his pocket watch and exhales. "You know why I didn't tell him, Mycroft. It would be even harder for him, I think..." Sherlock says quit. He watches the teacup next to him. And this was the first time Mycroft notes how old his brother looks when he's sad.


	2. Chapter 2

John arrives at the flat an hour after Mycroft left. The exsoldier notices the two cups next to his and Sherlocks chair. "Was Mycroft here?" He asks his flatmate. Sherlock stands at the window. Facing the glass. He don't answers. John ignores the fact that the consulting dedective didn't answer him. He never does when he's thinking.  
John takes the two cups to the kitchen and goes back into the livingroom again. This time Sherlock turnes around when John enters the room.  
The small man looks at him.  
"Sherlock?" John asks quite because his flatmates eyes are still lost in something. The doctor fixes Sherlocks eyes. They are huge... The pupils are big...bigger than normal. "Oh shit, Sherlock! Did you take drugs?" And suddenly the always-changing eyes are clear again. And they fixes Johns.  
"No." The consulting dedective answers short.  
"John...I have to talk to you."  
The army doctor nods confused...his flatmate sounds shy.  
"Do you remember Christmas?" Sherlock asks.  
John is more and more confused...why do Sherlock want to talk to him about last Christmas? "Of course I do! It was the only time you felt in love, Sherlock" John trys to joke but he can't even smile. What's wrong with his friend? "No." Sherlock answers again "it wasn't the only time..." John needs some minutes to understand what the tall man is talking about. "What do you mean Sherlock?"  
"Do you remember, what I told you about love? The chemistry of love is easy. Do you remember John?"  
"Yes, I do. But wh-" and then he understands what the dedective wants to say. They are still looking at each other. One of them with huge pupils..."You mean you...you lo-"  
"I love you. John, thats what I wanted to say...since I know you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."  
John stares at his flatmate. He didn't expect that. He needs some time to find his voice again. Sherlock waits patiently. "Sherlock..I...you know...I have a girlfriend...I'm not gay...I'm sorry." John says and he feels really sorry for Sherlock.

Then he leaves the room, without knowing that the rest of Sherlocks life isn't that long anymore...


	3. Chapter 3

In his car Mycroft had enought time to think about, what he and his brother talked about.  
He was surprised when Sherlock invited him. Sherlock had never invente him befor...  
His brother isn't that kind of family guy... Well Mycroft himselfe neither... But this time he knew it's important. So he came. And they talked for awhile.  
Mycroft isn't happy about Sherlocks plans...  
He cares about his brother...he always did. As they were younger Mycroft always tried to unterstand him. And protect him from other kids. Sherlock was always a kind of nerd. At school everybody hated him. He never had a real friend...  
Till he met John last year.  
14 month ago they met. And soon Sherlock will leave his only friend again...maybe.

But this wasn't the only thing the two brothers talked about. And Mycrofts thoughs switches over to the other theme. Sherlock was right. Mycroft didn't tell Lestrade anything. Not yet. But he has to...  
His younger brother was right with all his deductions. He is afraid of Lestrade reaction. Mycroft really don't know how to tell anybody what he feels for the dedective inspector...especially not the inspector himself.  
But he will find a solution! He is Mycroft Holmes! He can manage some difficult elections in corea and he can lead nearly the whole british gouvernment! So he will be able to tell a man, that he loves him.  
The rest of the way home Mycroft thinks about that man. How to tell him. He thinks about Lestrades reaction...and his reaction to the reaction.  
And the whole time he can't stop smile.

And so he forgot about the important things his brother told him today.


	4. Chapter 4

Note: this Chapter is separated in two parts: 1st Sherlock 2nd John  
Enjoy!

_Sherlock_

This night the consulting dedective don't get any sleep. He's rowling around in his bed, thinking about what he did today. Why did he tell John the truth? Why didn't he just kept his mouth shut? It'll hurt John more now... The thing He's going to do in...maybe two month? Would be painfull enought for a friend. But now he know that Sherlock loves him. He didn't expect his bloggers reaction. John was shocked. He don't loves him back. He never did and he never will. But maybe thats good. Maybe John will be happy after 'the thing' in two month! Finally he would get rid of his annoying, gay flatmate!  
His girlfriend could move in. They could marry and spend the rest Of their lifes together.  
...oh Sherlock hates this woman. He never met her befor. Just know her name 'Susan'...and he know that she has stollen his John! HIS John.  
Is it possible that John would be happier without Sherlock? It is...

And Sherlock spends the rest of the night with crying in his pillow.

_John_

This night, Sherlock isn't the only one in 221B who can't sleep. Many thoughts crosses Johns mind.  
Sherlock said he loves him. He didn't expect the consulting dedective to be...gay... Well he didn't expect the consulting dedective to be straight as well...  
He didn't expect that this man could be in love with someone. Of course he's a good looking man...and...he makes the soldier smile every time...  
STOP! He don't really like the growing though... He has a girlfriend.  
Susan.  
He loves her. She's beautyfull and funny. And he loves her.  
John is lying in his bed, thinking about her. Her face. He can see it. The brown curls. The blue eyes. This cheekbones...the black curls. The eyes, looking like a thunderstorm, never keeping a colour.  
...the face John can see isn't his girlfriend anymore...it's his flatmate!  
Suddenly John jumps out of his bed. What's going on? He isn't gay!...we'll he wasn't yesterday...but...NO!  
John don't think that he can sleep anymore. So he decides to make some tea and maybe watch some TV.  
So he went downstairs to the kitchen.

And while making his tea John can hear the other man crying next door.


	5. Chapter 5

At the same night, somewhere else in London the elder Holmes brother is sitting in a restaurante, facing the dedective inspector.

8pm a car parked in front of scottland yard. As the inspector came out of the building a young woman with a mobile in her hand opened the door of the car. "Inspector Lestrade? Please, get in the car."  
Lestrade looked confused...  
"Ehm...Why?" His hand went to his gun, under his coat.  
"Because I told you." the woman answered short and typed something in her phone.  
"And you are?"  
"Anthea." The woman stoped typing for some seconds, took a quick view at Lestrade and continued typing.  
The Dedective Inspector sighed. He remembered John, telling him about some weird meetings with Mycroft Holmes, Sherlocks brother. They all started like this. But what would Mycroft want from him?  
"Sir?" The woman asked patiently.

So Lestrade got into the car,and now he's sitting in a romantic restaurante with a man he never met befor.  
He feels uncomfortable, because Mycroft is watching him the whole time.  
And Lestrade feels underdressed. He still wears the clothes he wore at work, and not a really expensive looking suit like Mycroft...  
"Why did you invite me, sir?"  
"Because I have to talk to you Inspector. And please, call me Mycroft." he says with a grin.  
Lestrade nods. "Ok, Mycroft. about Sherlock?"  
"No. About you."  
The Inspector swallows nervous. About him? What did he do?  
"Well...and about me... About us." Mycroft continues.  
What the hell is he talking about? Lestrade can't imagine.  
"Honestly, Gregory... I...I'm gay. And i'm in love with you." It sounds so simple out of Mycrofts mound. But it isn't for Gregory! He is shocked! He nearly jumpes up from the chair. But in the last second he remembers all the people in the restaurant. So he just stairs at Mycroft Holmes. A man he don't know. A man who loves him.  
Sherlocks brother is just sitting there, with a straight face, like he's talking about the food in front of them.  
There is this akward silence. Like everybody in the restaurante is waiting for Lestrades reaction. And he is just sitting there.  
Staring.  
Thousands of thoughts crosses his mind in one second. But he still isn't able to talk.  
So he just continues eating. And Mycroft takes his fork again too. Happy about the fact, that Lestrade didn't walk away. He stays the whole evening. And for the next 10 minutes they are just eating. Without saying anything. After Lestrade finished his dish he stares at Mycroft again. Still in shock. Still without talking. Just stairing.  
Thinking.  
Mycroft don't speak too. He's just waiting for an answer.

They continued the 'date' like this, without knowing that they would spend the night together.


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning the two flatmates act like nothing happened. The have breakfast together and spend the entire day like every normal day. But both remember Sherlocks coming-out...and the following night. Both sleepless. One of them crying, the other one trying to understand. But they still act normal. And they go on acting for a whole month. But just at the days. In they nights Sherlock was still crying over his distance to John and John was still trying to stay straight. But night for night Sherlock became more sadly and John felt closer to Sherlock.  
But they never talked about that.  
In the middle of this month Susan sliped up. She said John has changed. She said he isn't the same anymore.  
And the doctor wasn't sad about that...not really. Now he can stay the whole night thinking about his flatmate without feeling bad...without thinking about, what his girlfriend would say.  
But Sherlock was still crying every night.  
Every single night.  
But the night after this month he stops crying. Suddenly it is over. He trys to cry. But he can't. There aren't any tears. He's empty.  
So he starts thinking as well. But not about a relationship with his blogger. Well...Sometimes he does...But not the whole time.  
He thinks about 'the thing' He's going to do. 'the thing' he has to do.  
He is afraid. But more afraid of ruining Johns life, not his own.  
An other man crosses his mind this one night, he isn't able to cry. A man. The reason why Sherlock's thinking about 'the thing'. Well the reason for it at all.  
James Moriarty.  
The most dangerous man Sherlock ever knew.  
And he's back...

And so the friends stays awake the whole night. One of them thinking about love, the other one thinking about his death.


End file.
